What do good manners mean today? Are they just a set of rigid rules learned by heart, or can they become a form of respect in our everyday relationships? This question was the starting point of the contemporary etiquette workshop led by Liliana Nestor in June 2026 at the “Hai pe câmpul de lavandă” (“Come to the lavender field”) festival organised by OFA Suceava.
Etiquette is not a list of prohibitions
Many people associate etiquette with cutlery laid out in strict order and stiff gestures. In reality, good manners are a shared language that helps us feel at ease with one another. An etiquette rule makes sense when it makes life easier and more pleasant for the other person.
Presence, communication and respect
In contemporary etiquette, the most important “rules” aren't visible at the table, but in the way we are present:
- Attention – really listening, with your phone put away.
- Punctuality – a sign of respect for other people's time.
- Tone and words – “please”, “thank you” and “excuse me” remain the most elegant words in any language.
- Discretion – online too, in messages, comments and photos.
- Self-respect – which doesn't mean arrogance, but the quiet confidence of knowing your own worth.
Real tools of influence
Presence, communication and good manners are not formalities but real tools, in both personal and professional life. The way you enter a room, greet people or end a conversation says more about you than any business card.
First impressions, in a few gestures
- The greeting. Eye contact, a smile and a firm but not crushing handshake. Traditionally, the older person or the one in the more senior position offers their hand first.
- Introductions. The younger person is introduced to the older one, and the guest to the host. A small detail about each – “you've both worked in education” – helps the conversation get going.
- Names. Use the other person's name in conversation. It is one of the simplest signs of attention.
- Dress. It needn't be expensive, just right for the place and the occasion. Dressing appropriately is, above all, a sign of respect for your host.
Table manners in brief
- The napkin goes on your lap once you've sat down. If you leave the table briefly, leave it on your chair; at the end, place it loosely folded beside your plate.
- Cutlery is used from the outside in, in the order the courses arrive.
- The bread plate is on the left, the glasses on the right.
- Start eating once everyone has been served or when the host gives the signal.
- The phone doesn't sit on the table. If you're expecting an important call, say so at the start and step away discreetly to take it.
Good manners online
- In messages and emails, a greeting and a polite sign-off make a difference, even in a short text.
- Reply within a reasonable time, or say when you'll be able to.
- Don't post photos of other people without their consent, and don't forward private messages.
- In video meetings, turn your camera on when you can, mute when you're not speaking and don't do other things at the same time.
- Disagree as politely as you would face to face. If you wouldn't say it to someone's face, don't write it in a comment.
And where does tea fit into all this?
For centuries, tea has been the perfect occasion to practise good manners: a table where people stop, look at each other and talk. If you want to start with the simple things, read Tea etiquette: 7 simple rules and choose the right tea for your next get-together with friends.
Frequently asked questions
Does etiquette still matter today?
Yes, perhaps even more than before. In a hurried, digital world, attention, politeness and respect for other people's time are noticed immediately and leave a lasting good impression.
What is the most important rule of etiquette?
To make others feel at ease in your company. All the other rules really follow from this one.
How can you teach children good manners?
Above all, by example. A family meal without phones, or a tea together where everyone serves someone else, are better lessons than any list of rules.
Liliana Nestor is an etiquette and protocol specialist, a lecturer for the Calea Victoriei Foundation and the host of the programme “Conversații la ceai” (“Conversations over tea”) on Bucovina TV Regional. See all our gatherings on the Press & events page.